that I learned to discern and understand not only the difference, but the dynamic between the two. The most dangerous enemy was labeling one as good and the other bad. Together they have both moved me farther down my spiritual path when I stopped trying to deny my own inner wants, needs and desires. By practicing and giving selfless love, the less lust consumed me and the more I learned to recognize it as a form of communication. It keeps me centered. It reminds me that the sensual can never be ignored in favor of spirituality because it is a delicate balance act TOGETHER that fills me with the most light, passion and creative force. With no lust, love suffers. With no love, lust shrivels. I often find myself leaping into one or the other with whole hearted abandon when I interact with my clients. I have no choice but to let go and allow what they need to flow through me and into them. It isn’t enough to go through the motions. I have to let go. I have to feel. I have to let what is needed come with no judgement or reservation, only pure positive intention. If I hold back, the energy is blocked. It isn’t enough to take off my clothes, there will be no connection beyond the physical. So much missed opportunity, so much healing that could have been if I hadn’t allowed myself to label what is bad or good. My client will leave feeling sad, empty, unsatisfied and blame himself when it was my selfishness, my refusal to engage and experience lust that severed him from love completely. I have more power then I ever realized. Carelessness can turn into cruelty so easy on this intimate level and I offer an apology to any client or lover who suffered because of my ignorance before. I’m learning as I go, through trial and error I call my daily life and career. Thank you for the patience as I try to determine my purpose and place in this world…..as a spiritual sex worker and sensual light worker, always evolving and learning.
thesakinahsensuality 
Wonderfully courageous for you to open up to your inner musings as a sex worker. Sexual energy is definitely one of the powerful connections to our primal nature and it is for sure not accidental that our connection to this energy has been skewed – by our childhood conditioning, school, religion, media, on and on and on. A great way to keep stay dis-empowered. Thank you!
with Love,
tomas
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That’s an excellent piece.
There’s a lot of parallels there that I can identify with. I find with my physical activities (not that different really), that I get the greatest rewards from letting myself go, rather than holding on to the part that ‘feels’ like me. The part that is a form of ego, and is restrained by what I think others think of me.
Nice. I shall be reading more of your stuff. 😉
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